Making A Choice

Dede & Omobolanle

Life is made up of infinite amount of choices, we make decisions on a daily basis from the small and only slightly impactful like; what am I having for breakfast, which route should i take to work. But there are the bigger choices we make, the ones that can change our lives forever and these are tough. Which is the more reason why you can't be drastic and insensitive to decide.

One of the very important decision you will make in life is choosing a life partner - This is a companion you'll go through life with. As merry go round as it may seem, this is not an easy task. 

 When it comes to choosing a life partner, you should be prayerful, sensitive, watchful - this is very important. Pay attention to what they are saying and also not saying, from a conversation you could tell what their values are, apart from the ones that are evident. Set your emotions apart and give yourself to critical and clear thinking. A lot goes into consideration when choosing a life partner, more than the physical appearance there is more to that. As much as you should be romantically attracted to your partner, you should be psychologically, spiritually, intellectually, Value-like attracted to your partner. Some attractions are fickle, while some will stand the test of time. 

Is He/She Suitable For You?

"So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." Genesis 2:20‭-‬22 NIV

In the above passage, God wanted a suitable partner for Adam - not just anyone! A companion is like a puzzle, you can't merge two wrong pieces together. It's not about how you feel but about what's right for you.

So I ask again is he or she suitable for you? 

As a man you'd need to close your physical eyes to be able to see the right one. In genesis 13:9, When Abraham and Lot were to go their separate ways, Lot chosed his desired location base on his sight - for the land was beautiful, and he ended up in Sodom and Gomorrah. What do we learn from this? That our physical eyes can be deceiving and misleading and if we let it be our guide rather than Jesus, we'd miss the right destination. 

I wonder the complaints Adam would've made if he was awake while Eve was being created - "her ass is too small; her legs too skinny"…. It would've been a tedious process but God knew all that, so he made him fall asleep. For you to chose a life partner you'd need to fully depend on God's guidance because you might end up being led by your lust instead of your needs - suitability.

As a lady before saying "Yes" to him, ask yourself is he God's choice for me? Am i being carried away by his appearance and financial stability? 

It's important to guard your heart at the beginning of a relationship. Before you get your emotions involved, take enough time to evaluate his character. Once chemistry takes over, your discernment is compromised. When your emotions are detached, However, it's easier to notice areas of concern and potential character flaws. If your focus is on his financial status and physical look you'll be blinded to his character. And guess what? that's the most important!

THOUGHTS

As much as I am a firm believer of compromise in relationships; Yes! you should meet at the middle, Yes! we must make this work very good and fine! But when you begin to compromise your values, your self confidence, your self worth, it becomes draining and you could loose your self in the pursuit of happiness all in the name of compromise. Don't do that to yourself.

 "Never give excuses for a misconduct, a toxic behavior, being mistreated, being abused. Don't do that to yourself. Omobolanle"

The signs are there when you are dating/courting and you still think they would change after marriage, or when he becomes a father or when she becomes a mother, you are joking. It's either you are living in denial or they sold a lie to you. You can't change someone, you can only show them the right way to go. It's a decision and commitment they would have to make themselves.

How do you change a man that believes He has to beat a woman to command respect or how do you change a woman that thinks she needs more than one man to be sexually and financially satisfied. It's an impossible mission you are embarking on. You might be thinking, maybe your love for him/her can influence the change but trust me it won't! or you might be thinking, money is my priority I don't even care about all these things, once there is money I am fine - I careless about my partners character and all but trust me, the happiness, the peace, the joy you will later crave for in your marriage are the things money can not buy. Save yourself from the agony of a bad marriage when you can enjoy a premium that is established on God's guidance. 

Let God be your guide!